There is a reason why Exes are indeed part of the past. However convoluted existence means every once in a while their life weaves itself in with yours and wires cross for a little spark of complicated living. ‘Tis the season for just that sort of electrical shock reminder to the circuit board.
Because the Honeymoon was over a long time ago. The Ex just chooses to revisit the wound now and again.
Honeymoon
1-1/2 ounce Applejack
1/2 ounce Lemon Juice
1/2 ounce Benedictine
1/4 ounce Triple Sec
Combine liquids in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend and chill. Strain into chilled cocktail glass.
Once upon a time in the recesses of your mind the thought of separation and ultimate disconnect from the significant other in your life brought instant gratification. The belief of a life full of bliss, complete with miles of smiles and endless relief was in sight. All inclusive happiness with the signing of nullification papers is a total myth, but the Separator and Miles of Smiles drinks just might get you to your happy place when the Ex comes knocking with yet another irritating request.
Separator
1-1/4 ounce Brandy
1 ounce Coffee Liqueur
1/4 ounce Half & Half
Combine liquids in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend. Strain into large rocks glass over fresh ice.
Miles of Smiles
1/2 ounce Canadian Whiskey
1/2 ounce Peppermint Schnapps
1/2 ounce Amaretto
Place liquids in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend and chill. Strain into chilled shooter glass or serve in rocks glass over fresh ice.
Sometimes a face to face meet and greet is necessary. Donning the business as usual face must seem casual, ordinary and effortless. No matter how difficult don’t let the Ex see you sweat, don’t let the Ex know you would rather walk on fiery coals or better yet stick pins in a voodoo doll in their honor than sit idly and have a civil conversation over coffee with them. A quick Lethal Injection or Stress Reliever to take the edge off might do the trick.
Lethal Injection
1/4 ounce Coconut Rum
1/4 ounce Spiced Rum
1/4 ounce Dark Rum
1/4 ounce Crème de Noyaux
1/4 ounce Orange Juice
1/4 ounce Pineapple Juice
Place liquids in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend and chill. Strain into chilled shooter glass.
Stress Reliever
3/4 ounce Vodka
3/4 ounce Coconut Rum
1/4 ounce Peach Schnapps
1/4 ounce Cranberry Juice
1/4 ounce Pineapple Juice
Place liquids in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend. Strain into large rocks glass over fresh ice.
It’s the Aggravation of going back in time, revisiting old wounds, reliving the same old conversations and remembering exactly why particular people who were once part of the future are now a thing of the past. They drive you wacky with their Screwball behavior. If you two were still together is there any doubt that you would be Simply Bonkers by now?
Aggravation
1-1/4 ounce Scotch
3/4 ounce Coffee Liqueur
1 ounce Half & Half
Place ice in large rocks glass. Add ingredients in order give. Stir and serve.
Screwball
1-1/4 ounce Whiskey
3-3/4 ounce Orange Juice
2 dashes Orange Bitters
Place ice in highball glass. Add whiskey and orange juice. Stir. Add dashes of bitters. Serve.
Simply Bonkers
1/3 ounce Raspberry Liqueur
1/3 ounce Rum
1/3 ounce Half & Half
Place liquids in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend and chill. Strain into chilled shot glass.
Don’t do it! Don’t fall into the trap. It simply isn’t worth the time, effort or brain damage. Getting suckered into the trap of “just one more time for old time’s sake” is not only a bad idea, but the worst idea of all time. Falling into bed with an Ex is like going back to a Bad Habit.
Bad Habit
1/2 ounce Vodka
1/2 ounce Peach Schnapps
Combine liquids in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend and chill. Strain into shot glass.
Old Lay
1-1/4 ounce Tequila
3/4 ounce Triple Sec
1/4 ounce Lime Juice
Dash Grenadine
Combine tequila, triple sec and lime juice in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend and chill. Strain into two chilled shot glasses. Add dash grenadine to top of both shots.
The Ex can leave a bitter taste in your mouth. It isn’t good to hold onto the past. Send the bitter notes packing with a toast to the future.
Bitters Highball
3/4 ounce Bitters
Ginger Ale
Lemon Twist Garnish
Place bitters in highball glass. Add ounce of ginger ale. Stir. Add fresh ice. Top with ginger ale to fill. Garnish with fresh lemon twist. Stir.
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